Today, for the first time in weeks, I actually did something productive.  I got up; got dressed and went and taught 3 to 8 year olds soccer.  I had some sort of purpose and a few hours of unconditional support and love.  A 3 year old generously gave me one of her Capri Sun’s because I forgot water and she asked for nothing in return.  Oh to see life through the eyes of kids this age.

So how has it changed my perspective today?  Well, I am still in “self-discovery of what the F went wrong in my life” but it dawned on me that I have to live in the moment, that I can look back; I can analyze; I can see with eyes open; I can learn but I can NOT fix the past or the people in it and I can NOT keep falling back to the pattern and excuses that have been the yard stick of my life.    

Oh now, wait…do not expect some Pollyanna, my life has changed, I’m wonderful overnight change.  I’m still going to work through the process MY way.  However, you can expect that today’s revelation has set my mind and more importantly, my soul, toward standing toe to toe with what has happened in my life, accepting what has happened in my life, admitting to myself and maybe others how it has affected me, and learning to define myself by my standards and happiness and not other people.