Every Day is a New Day

After Monday’s delve into my journals, I was a little paralyzed yesterday.  I woke up with my usual schedule: coffee, scan of facebook, scan of emails, check the bank account, go back to facebook because the coffee has set in and then tackle the emails with the intent on putting in more job applications.  I got to the emails and had 7 “thank you for your resume/application, but….” Emails.  All in a row, it almost looked like they were typed by the same person.  I ended up on the couch, watching Season 4 of West Wing.  Not good. 

I have the tendency lately to just let things fester and overwhelm me.  I think when all the kids were home it was easier to ignore and not do that.  I had to keep moving.  Even when I had a job I had to keep moving.  Now, don’t get me wrong there is a shit-ton that could be done in this house, but none of it is on my mental list to tackle and the movement isn’t progress but just movement. 

Today, I woke up and started my daily routine again.  This time though, I am not paralyzed.  So that is progress.  I had 3 more rejection emails.  So what!  I had no job matches on WorkinTexas.com.  So what! My bank account is grossly low.  So what!  The WHAT of the day is that I was paralyzed yesterday but not today.  I am getting better at this picking myself up (oh do not think I do it alone…there is a bigger than I realized support system that helps me).  What I have come to realize is that it is ok to have a day like that; it is when the day becomes days, weeks, and months. 

So today, I am grateful for my support system.  I am grateful for my life.  I am grateful for the challenges it presents because I am learning and it has slowed me down so I can see or at least be open to seeing.  Today I am grateful.