I found a website which listed the following signs (and it was actually a decent website with the most practical advice I could see/read):
Signs of Depression are different for men and women. One of my arguments on medical health these days. I prefer a male doctor - ok that is a lie - I prefer my male family practitioner whom I have seen for 24 years. I have seen female doctors and in most area's do not have an issue but do in others. While men tend to be a little more dismissive, I have found the women to be a little too judgemental. One issue I have with male doctors though is that they have a tendency, even when they have known their patient for 20 plus years, to apply the general signs and symptoms or male signs and symptoms to all issues.
Lately, I have heard the words or phrases too often:
Your too animated, no one will listen or take you seriously;
You need to relax;
Calm down;
Your making an issue out of something that you don't need to or shouldn't be;
I don't get "IT".
None are productive phrases and lead to more issues.
Anyway, the article listed several general signs:
- Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
- Loss of interest in daily activities. No interest in former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
- Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
- Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).
- Anger or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
- Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
- Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
- Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports.
- Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
- Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.
The article was careful to point out that "these symptoms can be part of life’s normal lows. But the more symptoms you have, the stronger they are, and the longer they’ve lasted—the more likely it is that you’re dealing with depression. When these symptoms are overwhelming and disabling then it is time to seek help."
There is a more specific list for women and the causes. Most of them dead on. I'm not saying I am depressed but I seem to have a great bit of the signs.
What hit me on the article was the explanations they gave of causes and treatments. How side by side they varied a great bit from the mens. AND how one of the last "mood busters" it gave was:
Find purpose
Dedicating time to a meaningful activity improves mood, reduces stress, and keeps you mentally sharp. The activity can be as simple as taking up a new hobby or volunteering your time. You worry less about every little ache and pain in your own life when you move the focus to a new interest.
What bothered me about the article was how do you get to that point when the points listed ahead of it seem so over whelming?
My youngest child today said "everyone needs to stop....stop wanting to be right; stop acting like its the end of the world; stop acting like a person is going to fall apart; stop over thinking. We need to start recognizing the needs, even if its just listening for five minutes or a coca-cola from the store and we need to start helping each other. Everyone's problem is their own but if we see them struggling to deal with it why do we have to dump our problems on top and make them feel even worse?".
I'm thinking, some strong words from such a young person.
Do I have and have I had a lot of these symptoms for about 3 years (more if you count the times during or after pregnancy) - the answer is yes but I feel like I can relate all mine back to one out of each category: Biological - chronic injury that has pain every day. Psychological - low self esteem and rehashing negative thoughts all day (and sometimes I mean ALL DAY). Social - marital issues; kid issues; and my own parental issues. Hormonal - uh duh....read my blog entry from yesterday.
It said that in almost all instances:
| Differences between male and female depression | |
| Women tend to: | Men tend to: |
Blame themselves
|
Blame others
|
Feel sad, apathetic, and worthless
|
Feel angry, irritable, and ego inflated
|
Feel anxious and scared
|
Feel suspicious and guarded
|
Avoid conflicts at all costs
|
Create conflicts
|
Feel slowed down and nervous
|
Feel restless and agitated
|
Have trouble setting boundaries
|
Need to feel in control at all costs
|
Find it easy to talk about self-doubt and despair
|
Find it “weak” to admit self-doubt or despair
|
Use food, friends, and "love" to self-medicate
|
Use alcohol, TV, sports, and sex to self-medicate
|
I found this list interesting. I meet the top 6 very easily and the bottom two not so much (in my eyes).
So the point, not sure except to get it written down (somewhere no one reads :)) or to try and show myself something.
I go back to purpose though and what is mine; I don't know at this point that more medication or more talking to people I have to pay is helpful but I'm also not buying into the "self-help" things. I've tried lists; exercise; walking; meditating; journal writing; making sure I am moving and not just siting around; schedules; picking up old activities and the "feelings" are still there. I think that each person has to find their own "work around". I think that each list is great and is a starting point and generates some eye opening behaviors, for yourself and those around you and I really find the differences between men and women and how they handle and manifest depression interesting.
I don't know how you deal with it or fix it. I don't know how much is learned behavior or even environmental - something goes wrong and the first response is your depressed or here take a pill. How do you change 20 years of doing something? When you go to school as a child you then move on to college and college is set up (or the good ones are) to help you cope with job related skills and so you move on to a job and/or a career and when that career ends you may or may not have other skills to move to another job or career. When you have stayed home and given up your career and your career has moved on and your kids have moved on, everything you do from here out has to be re-learned or is new. Conversely, if your in a job or career that you do not like making a change and adapting is harder than a SAHM who has spent many years learning new things and adapting. I recognize those things, I can point them out, I just can not say with any intellectual honest what purpose all that adaption and learning of things serves me now. What do you do if what you wanted was to be a SAHM? What do you do if your career or job you had was yanked away from you - either by mistakes you made or just because? How do you re-find your purpose in life and what you are supposed to do and can you beat any cycles of depression until you do?
What do you do when you and your spouse are in the same battle of feelings?
What do you do when your battle feels so overwhelming you can't pull yourself to any positive aspect? (Therapy, medication, self help etc)?
What do you do when even the positive words sound negative and leave you feeling alone?
In the words of my youngest - the first place I may need to start is to stop trying to be right; and do that in a positive manner. I keep couching it in terms of "I just want someone to acknowledge X, Y & Z" but what I'm looking for is someone to say "your right" and then am convincing myself that I can and will move forward when that happens.
Now, if any part of this makes any sense to anyone, and even if it doesn't, because we are on the time of year when the darkness outside; the weather in general and the holiday's can affect people, for your loved ones and yourself, read the articles and signs and symptoms at: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-signs-and-symptoms.htm
see if there is anything there for you and more importantly for your loved ones.
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